Chapter 46

STIRRINGTROUBLEDWATERS

PlayinginNewYorkoneeveningonthisherreturn,Carriewasputtingthefinishingtouchestohertoiletbeforeleavingforthenight,whenacommotionnearthestagedoorcaughtherear.Itincludedafamiliarvoice.

“Nevermind,now.IwanttoseeMissMadenda.”

“You’llhavetosendinyourcard.”

“Oh,comeoff!Here.”

Ahalf-dollarwaspassedover,andnowaknockcameatherdressing-roomdoor.Carrieopenedit.

“Well,well!”saidDrouet.“Idoswear!Why,howareyou.IknewthatwasyouthemomentIsawyou.”

Carriefellbackapace,expectingamostembarrassingconversation.

“Aren’tyougoingtoshakehandswithme.Well,you’readandy!That’sallright,shakehands.”

Carrieputoutherhand,smiling,iffornothingmorethantheman’sexuberantgood-nature.Thougholder,hewasbutslightlychanged.Thesamefineclothes,thesamestockybody,thesamerosycountenance.

“Thatfellowatthedoortheredidn’twanttoletmein,untilIpaidhim.Iknewitwasyou,allright.Say,you’vegotagreatshow.Youdoyourpartfine.Iknewyouwould.IjusthappenedtobepassingtonightandthoughtI’ddropinforafewminutes.Isawyournameontheprogram,butIdidn’trememberituntilyoucameonthestage.Thenitstruckmeallatonce.Say,youcouldhaveknockedmedownwithafeather.

That’sthesamenameyouusedoutthereinChicago,isn’tit.”

“Yes,”answeredCarrie,mildly,overwhelmedbytheman’sassurance.

“Iknewitwas,themomentIsawyou.Well,howhaveyoubeen,anyhow.”

“Oh,verywell,”saidCarrie,lingeringinherdressing-room.Shewasratherdazedbytheassault.“Howhaveyoubeen.”

“Me.Oh,fine.I’mherenow.”

“Isthatso.”saidCarrie.

“Yes.I’vebeenhereforsixmonths.I’vegotchargeofabranchhere.”

“Hownice!”

“Well,whendidyougoonthestage,anyhow.”inquiredDrouet.

“Aboutthreeyearsago,”saidCarrie.

“Youdon’tsayso!Well,sir,thisisthefirstI’veheardofit.Iknewyouwould,though.Ialwayssaidyoucouldact—didn’tI.”

Carriesmiled.

“Yes,youdid,”shesaid.

“Well,youdolookgreat,”hesaid.“Ineversawanybodyimproveso.You’retaller,aren’tyou.”

“Me.Oh,alittle,maybe.”

Hegazedatherdress,thenatherhair,whereabecominghatwassetjauntily,thenintohereyes,whichshetookalloccasiontoavert.Evidentlyheexpectedtorestoretheiroldfriendshipatonceandwithoutmodification.

“Well,”hesaid,seeinghergatherupherpurse,handkerchief,andthelike,preparatorytodeparting,“Iwantyoutocomeouttodinnerwithme;won’tyou.I’vegotafriendouthere.”

“Oh,Ican’t,”saidCarrie.“Notto-night.Ihaveanearlyengagementto-morrow.”

“Aw,lettheengagementgo.Comeon.Icangetridofhim.Iwanttohaveagoodtalkwithyou.”

“No,no,”saidCarrie;“Ican’t.Youmustn’taskmeanymore.Idon’tcareforalatedinner.”

“Well,comeonandhaveatalk,then,anyhow.”

“Notto-night,”shesaid,shakingherhead.“We’llhaveatalksomeothertime.”

Asaresultofthis,shenoticedashadeofthoughtpassoverhisface,asifhewerebeginningtorealizethatthingswerechanged.Good-naturedictatedsomethingbetterthanthisforonewhohadalwayslikedher.

“Youcomearoundtothehotelto-morrow,”shesaid,assortofpenanceforerror.“Youcantakedinnerwithme.”

“Allright,”saidDrouet,brightening.“Whereareyoustopping.”

“AttheWaldorf,”sheanswered,mentioningthefashionablehostelrythenbutnewlyerected.

“Whattime.”

“Well,comeatthree,”saidCarrie,pleasantly.

ThenextdayDrouetcalled,butitwaswithnoespecialdelightthatCarrierememberedherappointment.However,seeinghim,handsomeasever,afterhiskind,andmostgeniallydisposed,herdoubtsastowhetherthedinnerwouldbedisagreeableweresweptaway.Hetalkedasvolublyasever.

“Theyputonalotoflugshere,don’tthey.”washisfirstremark.

“Yes;theydo,”saidCarrie.

Genialegotistthathewas,hewentatonceintoadetailedaccountofhisowncareer.

“I’mgoingtohaveabusinessofmyownprettysoon,”heobservedinoneplace.“Icangetbackingfortwohundredthousanddollars.”

Carrielistenedmostgood-naturedly.

“Say,”hesaid,suddenly;“whereisHurstwoodnow.”

Carrieflushedalittle.

“He’shereinNewYork,Iguess,”shesaid.“Ihaven’tseenhimforsometime.”

Drouetmusedforamoment.Hehadnotbeensureuntilnowthattheex-managerwasnotaninfluentialfigureinthebackground.Heimaginednot;butthisassurancerelievedhim.ItmustbethatCarriehadgotridofhim—aswellsheought,hethought.“Amanalwaysmakesamistakewhenhedoesanythinglikethat,”heobserved.

“Likewhat.”saidCarrie,unwittingofwhatwascoming.

“Oh,youknow,”andDrouetwavedherintelligence,asitwere,withhishand.

“No,Idon’t,”sheanswered.“Whatdoyoumean.”

“WhythataffairinChicago—thetimeheleft.”

“Idon’tknowwhatyouaretalkingabout,”saidCarrie.CoulditbehewouldrefersorudelytoHurstwood’sflightwithher.

“Oho!”saidDrouet,incredulously.“Youknewhetooktenthousanddollarswithhimwhenheleft,didn’tyou.”

“What!”saidCarrie.“Youdon’tmeantosayhestolemoney,doyou.”

“Why,”saidDrouet,puzzledathertone,“youknewthat,didn’tyou.”

“Why,no,”saidCarrie.“OfcourseIdidn’t.”

“Well,that’sfunny,”saidDrouet.“Hedid,youknow.Itwasinallthepapers.”

“Howmuchdidyousayhetook.”saidCarrie.

“Tenthousanddollars.Iheardhesentmostofitbackafterwards,though.”

Carrielookedvacantlyattherichlycarpetedfloor.Anewlightwasshininguponalltheyearssinceherenforcedflight.Sherememberednowahundredthingsthatindicatedasmuch.Shealsoimaginedthathetookitonheraccount.Insteadofhatredspringinguptherewasakindofsorrowgenerated.Poorfellow!Whatathingtohavehadhangingoverhisheadallthetime.

AtdinnerDrouet,warmedupbyeatinganddrinking

andsoftenedinmood,fanciedhewaswinningCarrietoherold-timegood-naturedregardforhim.Hebegantoimagineitwouldnotbesodifficulttoenterintoherlifeagain,highasshewas.Ah,whataprize!hethought.Howbeautiful,howelegant,howfamous!InhertheatricalandWaldorfsetting,Carriewastohimthealldesirable.

“DoyourememberhownervousyouwerethatnightattheAvery.”heasked.

Carriesmiledtothinkofit.

“Ineversawanybodydobetterthanyoudidthen,Cad,”headdedruefully,asheleanedanelbowonthetable;“IthoughtyouandIweregoingtogetalongfinethosedays.”

“Youmustn’ttalkthatway,”saidCarrie,bringingintheleasttouchofcoldness.

“Won’tyouletmetellyou—”

“No,”sheanswered,rising.“Besides,it’stimeIwasgettingreadyforthetheatre.I’llhavetoleaveyou.Come,now.”

“Oh,stayaminute,”pleadedDrouet.“You’vegotplentyoftime.”

“No,”saidCarrie,gently.

ReluctantlyDrouetgaveupthebrighttableandfollowed.Hesawhertotheelevatorand,standingthere,said:

“WhendoIseeyouagain.”

“Oh,sometime,possibly,”saidCarrie.“I’llbehereallsummer.Good-night!”

Theelevatordoorwasopen.

“Good-night!”saidDrouet,assherustledin.

Thenhestrolledsadlydownthehall,allhisoldlongingrevived,becauseshewasnowsofaroff.Themerryfrou-frouoftheplacespokeallofher.Hethoughthimselfhardlydealtwith.Carrie,however,hadotherthoughts.

ThatnightitwasthatshepassedHurstwood,waitingattheCasino,withoutobservinghim.

Thenextnight,walkingtothetheatre,sheencounteredhimfacetoface.Hewaswaiting,moregauntthanever,determinedtoseeher,ifhehadtosendinword.Atfirstshedidnotrecognizetheshabby,baggyfigure.Hefrightenedher,edgingsoclose,aseeminglyhungrystranger.

“Carrie,”hehalfwhispered,“canIhaveafewwordswithyou.”Sheturnedandrecognizedhimontheinstant.Ifthereeverhadlurkedanyfeelinginherheartagainsthim,itdesertedhernow.Still,sherememberedwhatDrouetsaidabouthishavingstolenthemoney.

“Why,George,”shesaid;“what’sthematterwithyou.”

“I’vebeensick,”heanswered.“I’vejustgotoutofthehospital.ForGod’ssake,letmehavealittlemoney,willyou.”

“Ofcourse,”saidCarrie,herliptremblinginastrongefforttomaintainhercomposure.“Butwhat’sthematterwithyou,anyhow.”

Shewasopeningherpurse,andnowpulledoutallthebillsinit—afiveandtwotwos.

“I’vebeensick,Itoldyou,”hesaid,peevishly,almostresentingherexcessivepity.Itcamehardtohimtoreceiveitfromsuchasource.

“Here,”shesaid.“It’sallIhavewithme.”

“Allright,”heanswered,softly.“I’llgiveitbacktoyousomeday.”

Carrielookedathim,whilepedestriansstaredather.Shefeltthestrainofpublicity.SodidHurstwood.

“Whydon’tyoutellmewhat’sthematterwithyou.”sheasked,hardlyknowingwhattodo.“Whereareyouliving.”

“Oh,I’vegotaroomdownintheBowery,”heanswered.“There’snousetryingtotellyouhere.I’mallrightnow.”

Heseemedinawaytoresentherkindlyinquiries—somuchbetterhadfatedealtwithher.

“Bettergoonin,”hesaid.“I’mmuchobliged,butIwon’tbotheryouanymore.”

Shetriedtoanswer,butheturnedawayandshuffledofftowardtheeast.

Fordaysthisapparitionwasadragonhersoulbeforeitbegantowearpartiallyaway.Drouetcalledagain,butnowhewasnotevenseenbyher.Hisattentionsseemedoutofplace.

“I’mout,”washerreplytotheboy.

Sopeculiar,indeed,washerlonely,self-withdrawingtemper,thatshewasbecominganinterestingfigureinthepubliceye-shewassoquietandreserved.

NotlongafterthemanagementdecidedtotransfertheshowtoLondon.Asecondsummerseasondidnotseemtopromisewellhere.

“HowwouldyouliketotrysubduingLondon.”askedhermanager,oneafternoon.

“Itmightbejusttheotherway,”saidCarrie.

“Ithinkwe’llgoinJune,”heanswered.

Inthehurryofdeparture,Hurstwoodwasforgotten.BothheandDrouetwerelefttodiscoverthatshewasgone.Thelattercalledonce,andexclaimedatthenews.Thenhestoodinthelobby,chewingtheendsofhismoustache.Atlasthereachedaconclusion—theolddayshadgoneforgood.

“Sheisn’tsomuch,”hesaid;butinhisheartofheartshedidnotbelievethis.

Hurstwoodshiftedbycuriousmeansthroughalongsummerandfall.Asmalljobasjanitorofadancehallhelpedhimforamonth.Begging,sometimesgoinghungry,sometimessleepinginthepark,carriedhimovermoredays.Resortingtothosepeculiarcharities,severalofwhich,inthepressofhungrysearch,heaccidentallystumbledupon,didtherest.Towardthedeadofwinter,Carriecameback,appearingonBroadwayinanewplay;buthewasnotawareofit.Forweekshewanderedaboutthecity,begging,whilethefiresign,announcingherengagement,blazed

nightlyuponthecrowdedstreetofamusements.

Drouetsawit,butdidnotventurein.

AboutthistimeAmesreturnedtoNewYork.HehadmadealittlesuccessintheWest,andnowopenedalaboratoryinWoosterStreet.Ofcourse,heencounteredCarriethroughMrs.Vance;buttherewasnothingresponsivebetweenthem.HethoughtshewasstillunitedtoHurstwood,untilotherwiseinformed.Notknowingthefactsthen,hedidnotprofesstounderstand,andrefrainedfromcomment.

WithMrs.Vance,hesawthenewplay,andexpressedhimselfaccordingly.

“Sheoughtnottobeincomedy,”hesaid.“Ithinkshecoulddobetterthanthat.”

OneafternoontheymetattheVances’accidentally,andbeganaveryfriendlyconversation.Shecouldhardlytellwhytheone-timekeeninterestinhimwasnolongerwithher.Unquestionably,itwasbecauseatthattimehehadrepresentedsomethingwhichshedidnothave;butthisshedidnotunderstand.Successhadgivenherthemomentaryfeelingthatshewasnowblessedwithmuchofwhichhewouldapprove.Asamatteroffact,herlittlenewspaperfamewasnothingatalltohim.Hethoughtshecouldhavedonebetter,byfar.

“Youdidn’tgointocomedy-drama,afterall.”hesaid,rememberingherinterestinthatformofart.

“No,”sheanswered;“Ihaven’t,sofar.”

Helookedatherinsuchapeculiarwaythatsherealizedshehadfailed.Itmovedhertoadd:“Iwantto,though.”

“Ishouldthinkyouwould,”hesaid.“Youhavethesortofdispositionthatwoulddowellincomedy-drama.”

Itsurprisedherthatheshouldspeakofdisposition.Wasshe,then,soclearlyinhismind.

“Why.”sheasked.

“Well,”hesaid,“Ishouldjudgeyouwererather

sympatheticinyournature.”

Carriesmiledandcoloredslightly.Hewassoinnocentlyfrankwithherthatshedrewnearerinfriendship.Theoldcalloftheidealwassounding.

“Idon’tknow,”sheanswered,pleased,nevertheless,beyondallconcealment.

“Isawyourplay,”heremarked.“It’sverygood.”

“I’mgladyoulikedit.”

“Verygood,indeed,”hesaid,“foracomedy.”

Thisisallthatwassaidatthetime,owingtoaninterruption,butlatertheymetagain.Hewassittinginacornerafterdinner,staringatthefloor,whenCarriecameupwithanotheroftheguests.Hardworkhadgivenhisfacethelookofonewhoisweary.ItwasnotforCarrietoknowthethinginitwhichappealedtoher.

“Allalone.”shesaid.

“Iwaslisteningtothemusic.”

“I’llbebackinamoment,”saidhercompanion,whosawnothingintheinventor.

Nowhelookedupinherface,forshewasstandingamoment,whilehesat.

“Isn’tthatapatheticstrain.”heinquired,listening.

“Oh,very,”shereturned,alsocatchingit,nowthatherattentionwascalled.

“Sitdown,”headded,offeringherthechairbesidehim.

Theylistenedafewmomentsinsilence,touchedbythesamefeeling,onlyhersreachedherthroughtheheart.Musicstillcharmedherasintheolddays.

“Idon’tknowwhatitisaboutmusic,”shestartedtosay,movedbytheinexplicablelongingswhichsurgedwithinher;“butitalwaysmakesmefeelasifIwantedsomething—I—”

“Yes,”hereplied;“Iknowhowyoufeel.”

Suddenlyheturnedtoconsideringthepeculiarityofherdisposition,expressingherfeelingssofrankly.

“Yououghtnottobemelancholy,”hesaid.

Hethoughtawhile,andthenwentoffintoaseeminglyalienobservationwhich,however,accordedwiththeirfeelings.

“Theworldisfullofdesirablesituations,but,unfortunately,wecanoccupybutoneatatime.Itdoesn’tdousanygoodtowringourhandsoverthefar-offthings.”

Themusicceasedandhearose,takingastandingpositionbeforeher,asiftoresthimself.

“Whydon’tyougetintosomegood,strongcomedy-drama.”hesaid.Hewaslookingdirectlyathernow,studyingherface.Herlarge,sympatheticeyesandpain-touchedmouthappealedtohimasproofsofhisjudgment.

“PerhapsIshall,”shereturned.

“That’syourfield,”headded.

“Doyouthinkso.”

“Yes,”hesaid;“Ido.Idon’tsupposeyou’reawareofit,butthereissomethingaboutyoureyesandmouthwhichfitsyouforthatsortofwork.”

Carriethrilledtobetakensoseriously.Forthemoment,lonelinessdesertedher.Herewaspraisewhichwaskeenandanalytical.

“It’sinyoureyesandmouth,”hewentonabstractedly.“Irememberthinking,thefirsttimeIsawyou,thattherewassomethingpeculiaraboutyourmouth.Ithoughtyouwereabouttocry.”

“Howodd,”saidCarrie,warmwithdelight.Thiswaswhatherheartcraved.

“ThenInoticedthatthatwasyournaturallook,andto-nightIsawitagain.There’sashadowaboutyoureyes,too,whichgivesyourfacemuchthissamecharacter.It’sinthedepthofthem,Ithink.”

Carrielookedstraightintohisface,whollyaroused.

“Youprobablyarenotawareofit,”headded.

Shelookedaway,pleasedthatheshouldspeakthus,longingtobeequaltothisfeelingwrittenuponhercountenance.Itunlockedthedoortoanewdesire.She

hadcausetoponderoverthisuntiltheymetagain-severalweeksormore.Itshowedhershewasdriftingawayfromtheoldidealwhichhadfilledherinthedressing-roomsoftheAverystageandthereafter,foralongtime.Whyhadshelostit.

“Iknowwhyyoushouldbeasuccess,”hesaid,anothertime,“ifyouhadamoredramaticpart.I’vestudieditout—”

“Whatisit.”saidCarrie.

“Well,”hesaid,asonepleasedwithapuzzle,“theexpressioninyourfaceisonethatcomesoutindifferentthings.Yougetthesamethinginapatheticsong,oranypicturewhichmovesyoudeeply.It’sathingtheworldlikestosee,becauseit’sanaturalexpressionofitslonging.”

Carriegazedwithoutexactlygettingtheimportofwhathemeant.

“Theworldisalwaysstrugglingtoexpressitself,”hewenton“Mostpeoplearenotcapableofvoicingtheirfeelings.Theydependuponothers.Thatiswhatgeniusisfor.Onemanexpressestheirdesiresfortheminmusic;anotheroneinpoetry;anotheroneinaplay.Sometimesnaturedoesitinaface-itmakesthefacerepresentativeofalldesire.That’swhathashappenedinyourcase.”

Helookedatherwithsomuchoftheimportofthethinginhiseyesthatshecaughtit.Atleast,shegottheideathatherlookwassomethingwhichrepresentedtheworld’slonging.Shetookittoheartasacreditablething,untilheadded:

“Thatputsaburdenofdutyonyou.Itsohappensthatyouhavethisthing.Itisnocredittoyou—thatis,Imean,youmightnothavehadit.Youpaidnothingtogetit.Butnowthatyouhaveit,youmustdosomethingwithit.”

“What.”askedCarrie.

“Ishouldsay,turntothedramaticfield.Youhavesomuchsympathyandsuchamelodiousvoice.Makethemvaluabletoothers.Itwillmakeyourpowersendure.”

Carriedidnotunderstandthislast.Alltherestshowedherthathercomedysuccesswaslittleornothing.

“Whatdoyoumean.”sheasked.

“Why,justthis.Youhavethisqualityinyoureyesandmouthandinyournature.Youcanloseit,youknow.Ifyouturnawayfromitandlivetosatisfyyourselfalone,itwillgofastenough.Thelookwillleaveyoureyes.Yourmouthwillchange.Yourpowertoactwilldisappear.Youmaythinktheywon’t,buttheywill.Naturetakescareofthat.”

Hewassointerestedinforwardingallgoodcausesthathesometimesbecameenthusiastic,givingventtothesepreachments.SomethinginCarrieappealedtohim.Hewantedtostirherup.

“Iknow,”shesaid,absently,feelingslightlyguiltyofneglect.

“IfIwereyou,”hesaid,“I’dchange.”

Theeffectofthiswaslikeroilinghelplesswaters.Carrietroubledoveritinherrocking-chairfordays.

“Idon’tbelieveI’llstayincomedysoverymuchlonger,”sheeventuallyremarkedtoLola.

“Oh,whynot.”saidthelatter.

“Ithink,”shesaid,“Icandobetterinaseriousplay.”

“Whatputthatideainyourhead.”

“Oh,nothing,”sheanswered;“I’vealwaysthoughtso.”

Still,shedidnothing—grieving.Itwasalongwaytothisbetterthing—orseemedso—andcomfortwasabouther;hencetheinactivityandlonging.