CHAPTER 39

Inthedarktheycameupthehillthroughthetimbertothenarrowpassatthetop.Theywereallloadedheavilyandtheyclimbedslowly.Thehorseshadloadstoo,packedoverthesaddles.

“Wecancutthemlooseifitisnecessary,”Pilarhadsaid.“Butwiththat,ifwecankeepit,wecanmakeanothercamp.”

“Andtherestoftheammunition?”RobertJordanhadaskedastheylashedthepacks.

“Inthosesaddlebags.”

RobertJordanfelttheweightofhisheavypack,thedraggingonhisneckfromthepullofhisjacketwithitspocketsfullofgrenades,theweightofhispistolagainsthisthigh,andthebulgingofhistrouserpocketswheretheclipsforthesubmachinegunwere.Inhismouthwasthetasteofthecoffee,inhisrighthandhecarriedthesubmachinegunandwithhislefthandhereachedandpulledupthecollarofhisjackettoeasethepullofthepackstraps.

“Inglés,”Pablosaidtohim,walkingclosebesidehiminthedark.

“What,man?”

“TheseIhavebroughtthinkthisistobesuccessfulbecauseIhavebroughtthem,”Pablosaid.“Donotsayanythingtodisillusionthem.”

“Good,”RobertJordansaid.“Butletusmakeitsuccessful.”

“Theyhavefivehorses,sabes?”Pablosaidcautiously.

“Good,”saidRobertJordan.“Wewillkeepallthehorsestogether.”

“Good,”saidPablo,andnothingmore.

Ididn’tthinkyouhadexperiencedanycompleteconversionontheroadtoTarsus,oldPablo,RobertJordanthought.No.Yourcomingbackwasmiracleenough.Idon’tthinktherewilleverbeanyproblemaboutcanonizingyou.

“WiththosefiveIwilldealwiththelowerpostaswellasSordowouldhave,”Pablosaid.“Iwillcutthewireandfallbackuponthebridgeasweconvened.”

Wewentoverthisalltenminutesago,RobertJordanthought.Iwonderwhythisnow—

“ThereisapossibilityofmakingittoGredos,”Pablosaid.“Truly,Ihavethoughtmuchofit.”

Ibelieveyou’vehadanotherflashinthelastfewminutes,RobertJordansaidtohimself.Youhavehadanotherrevelation.Butyou’renotgoingtoconvincemethatIaminvited.No,Pablo.Donotaskmetobelievetoomuch.

EversincePablohadcomeintothecaveandsaidhehadfivemenRobertJordanfeltincreasinglybetter.SeeingPabloagainhadbrokenthepatternoftragedyintowhichthewholeoperationhadseemedgroovedeversincethesnow,andsincePablohadbeenbackhefeltnotthathisluckhadturned,sincehedidnotbelieveinluck,butthatthewholethinghadturnedforthebetterandthatnowitwaspossible.Insteadofthesuretyoffailurehefeltconfidencerisinginhimasatirebeginstofillwithairfromaslowpump.Therewaslittledifferenceatfirst,althoughtherewasadefinitebeginning,aswhenthepumpstartsandtherubberofthetubecrawlsalittle,butitcamenowassteadilyasatiderisingorthesaprisinginatreeuntilhebegantofeelthefirstedgeofthatnegationofapprehensionthatoftenturnedintoactualhappinessbeforeaction.

Thiswasthegreatestgiftthathehad,thetalentthatfittedhimforwar;thatabilitynottoignorebuttodespisewhateverbadendingtherecouldbe.Thisqualitywasdestroyedbytoomuchresponsibilityforothersorthenecessityofundertakingsomethingillplannedorbadlyconceived.Forinsuchthingsthebadending,failure,couldnotbeignored.Itwasnotsimplyapossibilityofharmtoone’sself,whichcouldbeignored.Heknewhehimselfwasnothing,andheknewdeathwasnothing.Heknewthattruly,astrulyasheknewanything.Inthelastfewdayshehadlearnedthathehimself,withanotherperson,couldbeeverything.Butinsidehimselfheknewthatthiswastheexception.Thatwehavehad,hethought.InthatIhavebeenmostfortunate.Thatwasgiventome,perhaps,becauseIneveraskedforit.Thatcannotbetakenawaynorlost.Butthatisoveranddonewithnowonthismorningandwhatthereistodonowisourwork.

Andyou,hesaidtohimself,Iamgladtoseeyougettingalittlesomethingbackthatwasbadlymissingforatime.Butyouwereprettybadbackthere.Iwasashamedenoughofyou,thereforawhile.OnlyIwasyou.Therewasn’tanymetojudgeyou.Wewereallinbadshape.Youandmeandbothofus.Comeonnow.Quitthinkinglikeaschizophrenic.Oneatatime,now.You’reallrightagainnow.Butlisten,youmustnotthinkofthegirlalldayever.Youcandonothingnowtoprotectherexcepttokeepheroutofit,andthatyouaredoing.Thereareevidentlygoingtobeplentyofhorsesifyoucanbelievethesigns.Thebestthingyoucandoforheristodothejobwellandfastandgetout,andthinkingofherwillonlyhandicapyouinthis.Sodonotthinkofherever.

HavingthoughtthisouthewaiteduntilMariacameupwalkingwithPilarandRafaelandthehorses.

“Hi,guapa,”hesaidtoherinthedark,“howareyou?”

“Iamwell,Roberto,”shesaid.

“Don’tworryaboutanything,”hesaidtoherandshiftingtheguntohislefthandheputahandonhershoulder.

“Idonot,”shesaid.

“Itisallverywellorganized,”hetoldher.“Rafaelwillbewiththeewiththehorses.”

“Iwouldratherbewiththee.”

“Nay.Thehorsesiswherethouartmostuseful.”

“Good,”shesaid.“ThereIwillbe.”

Justthenoneofthehorseswhinniedandfromtheopenplacebelowtheopeningthroughtherocksahorseanswered,theneighrisingintoashrillsharplybrokenquaver.

RobertJordansawthebulkofthenewhorsesaheadinthedark.HepressedforwardandcameuptothemwithPablo.Themenwerestandingbytheirmounts.

“Salud,”RobertJordansaid.

“Salud,”theyansweredinthedark.Hecouldnotseetheirfaces.

“ThisistheIngléswhocomeswithus,”Pablosaid.“Thedynamiter.”

Noonesaidanythingtothat.Perhapstheynoddedinthedark.

“Letusgetgoing,Pablo,”onemansaid.“Soonwewillhavethedaylightonus.”

“Didyoubringanymoregrenades?”anotherasked.

“Plenty,”saidPablo.“Supplyyourselveswhenweleavetheanimals.”

“Thenletusgo,”anothersaid.“We’vebeenwaitingherehalfthenight.”

“Hola,Pilar,”anothersaidasthewomancameup.

“Quémematen,ifitisnotPepe,”Pilarsaidhuskily.“Howareyou,shepherd?”

“Good,”saidtheman.“Dentrodelagravedad.”

“Whatareyouriding?”Pilaraskedhim.

“ThegrayofPablo,”themansaid.“Itismuchhorse.”

“Comeon,”anothermansaid.“Letusgo.Thereisnogoodingossipinghere.”

“Howartthou,Elicio?”Pilarsaidtohimashemounted.

“HowwouldIbe?”hesaidrudely.“Comeon,woman,wehaveworktodo.”

Pablomountedthebigbayhorse.

“Keepthymouthsshutandfollowme,”hesaid.“Iwillleadyoutotheplacewherewewillleavethehorses.”