184.英文正文(184)
“smith?”saidthewoman。***“thassfunny。myname’ssmithtoo。why,”sheaddedsentimentally,“imightbeyourmother!”
shemight,thoughtwinston,behismother。shewasabouttherightageandphysique,anditwasprobablethatpeoplechangedsomewhataftertwentyyearsinaforced-labourcamp。
nooneelsehadspokentohim。toasurprisingextenttheordinarycriminalsignoredthepartyprisoners。“thepolits,”theycalledthem,withasortofuninterestedcontempt。thepartyprisonersseemedterrifiedofspeakingtoanybody,andaboveallofspeakingtooneanother。onlyonce,whentwopartymembers,bothwomen,werepressedclosetogetheronthebench,heoverheardamidthedinofvoicesafewhurriedly-whisperedwords;andinparticularareferencetosomethingcalled“roomone-ohone”,whichhedidnotunderstand。
itmightbetwoorthreehoursagothattheyhadbroughthimhere。thedullpaininhisbellyneverwentaway,butsometimesitgrewbetterandsometimesworse,andhisthoughtsexpandedorcontractedaccordingly。whenitgrewworsehethoughtonlyofthepainitself,andofhisdesireforfood。whenitgrewbetter,panictookholdofhim。thereweremomentswhenheforesawthethingsthatwouldhappentohimwithsuchactualitythathisheartgallopedandhisbreathstopped。hefeltthesmashoftruncheonsonhiselbowsandiron-shodbootsonhisshins;hesawhimselfgrovellingonthefloor,screamingformercythroughbrokenteeth。hehardlythoughtofjulia。hecouldnotfixhismindonher。helovedherandwouldnotbetrayher;butthatwasonlyafact,knownasheknewtherulesofarithmetic。hefeltnoloveforher,andhehardlyevenwonderedwhatwashappeningtoher。hethoughtoftenerofo’brien,withaflickeringhope。o’brienmightknowthathehadbeenarrested。thebrotherhood,hehadsaid,nevertriedtosaveitsmembers。buttherewastherazorblade;theywouldsendtherazorbladeiftheycould。therewouldbeperhapsfivesecondsbeforetheguardcouldrushintothecell。thebladewouldbiteintohimwithasortofburningcoldness,andeventhefingersthathelditwouldbecuttothebone。everythingcamebacktohissickbody,whichshranktremblingfromthesmallestpain。hewasnotcertainthathewouldusetherazorbladeevenifhegotthechance。itwasmorenaturaltoexistfrommomenttomoment,acceptinganothertenminutes’lifeevenwiththecertaintythattherewastortureattheendofit。