245.英文正文（245）

“ibetrayedyou，”shesaidbaldly。***

“ibetrayedyou，”hesaid。

shegavehimanotherquicklookofdislike。

“sometimes，”shesaid，“theythreatenyouwithsomethingsomethingyoucan’tstandupto，can’teventhinkabout。andthenyousay，‘don’tdoittome，doittosomebodyelse，doittoso-and-so。’andperhapsyoumightpretend，afterwards，thatitwasonlyatrickandthatyoujustsaidittomakethemstopanddidn’treallymeanit。butthatisn’ttrue。atthetimewhenithappensyoudomeanit。youthinkthere’snootherwayofsavingyourself，andyou’requitereadytosaveyourselfthatway。youwantittohappentotheotherperson。youdon’tgiveadamnwhattheysuffer。allyoucareaboutisyourself。”

“allyoucareaboutisyourself，”heechoed。

“andafterthat，youdon’tfeelthesametowardstheotherpersonanylonger。”

“no，”hesaid，“youdon’tfeelthesame。”

theredidnotseemtobeanythingmoretosay。thewindplasteredtheirthinoverallsagainsttheirbodies。almostatonceitbecameembarrassingtositthereinsilence：besides，itwastoocoldtokeepstill。shesaidsomethingaboutcatchinghertubeandstooduptogo。

“wemustmeetagain，”hesaid。

“yes，”shesaid，“wemustmeetagain。”

hefollowedirresolutelyforalittledistance，halfapacebehindher。theydidnotspeakagain。shedidnotactuallytrytoshakehimoff，butwalkedatjustsuchaspeedastopreventhiskeepingabreastofher。hehadmadeuphismindthathewouldaccompanyherasfarasthetubestation，butsuddenlythisprocessoftrailingalonginthecoldseemedpointlessandunbearable。hewasoverwhelmedbyadesirenotsomuchtogetawayfromjuliaastogetbacktothechestnuttreecafé，whichhadneverseemedsoattractiveasatthismoment。hehadanostalgicvisionofhiscornertable，withthenewspaperandthechessboardandtheever-flowinggin。aboveall，itwouldbewarminthere。thenextmoment，notaltogetherbyaccident，heallowedhimselftobecomeseparatedfromherbyasmallknotofpeople。hemadeahalfheartedattempttocatchup，thensloweddown，turned，andmadeoffintheoppositedirection。whenhehadgonefiftymetreshelookedback。thestreetwasnotcrowded，butalreadyhecouldnotdistinguishher。anyoneofadozenhurryingfiguresmighthavebeenhers。perhapsherthickened，stiffenedbodywasnolongerrecognizablefrombehind。