Chapter 38

INELFLANDDISPORTING—THEGRIMWORLDWITHOUT

WhenCarrierenewedhersearch,asshedidthenextday,goingtotheCasino,shefoundthatintheoperachorus,asinotherfields,employmentisdifficulttosecure.Girlswhocanstandinalineandlookprettyareasnumerousaslabourerswhocanswingapick.Shefoundtherewasnodiscriminationbetweenoneandtheotherofapplicants,saveasregardsaconventionalstandardofprettinessandform.Theirownopinionorknowledgeoftheirabilitywentfornothing.

“WhereshallIfindMr.Gray.”sheaskedofasulkydoormanatthestageentranceoftheCasino.

“Youcan’tseehimnow;he’sbusy.”

“DoyouknowwhenIcanseehim.”

“Gotanappointmentwithhim.”

“No.”

“Well,you’llhavetocallathisoffice.”

“Oh,dear!”exclaimedCarrie.“Whereishisoffice.”

Hegaveherthenumber.

Sheknewtherewasnoneedofcallingtherenow.Hewouldnotbein.Nothingremainedbuttoemploytheintermediatehoursinsearch.

Thedismalstoryofventuresinotherplacesisquicklytold.Mr.Dalysawnoonesavebyappointment.Carriewaitedanhourinadingyoffice,quiteinspiteofobstacles,tolearnthisfactoftheplacid,indifferentMr.Dorney.

“Youwillhavetowriteandaskhimtoseeyou.”

Soshewentaway.

AttheEmpireTheatreshefoundahiveofpeculiarlylistlessandindifferentindividuals.Everythingornatelyupholstered,everythingcarefullyfinished,everythingremarkablyreserved.

AttheLyceumsheenteredoneofthosesecluded,under-stairwayclosets,beruggedandbepaneled,whichcausesonetofeelthegreatnessofallpositionsofauthority.Herewasreserveitselfdoneintoabox-officeclerk,adoorman,andanassistant,gloryingintheirfinepositions.

“Ah,beveryhumblenow—veryhumbleindeed.Telluswhatitisyourequire.Tellitquickly,nervously,andwithoutavestigeofself-respect.Ifnotroubletousinanyway,wemayseewhatwecando.”

ThiswastheatmosphereoftheLyceum—theattitude,forthatmatter,ofeverymanagerialofficeinthecity.Theselittleproprietorsofbusinessesarelordsindeedontheirownground.

Carriecameawaywearily,somewhatmoreabashedforherpains.

Hurstwoodheardthedetailsofthewearyandunavailingsearchthatevening.

“Ididn’tgettoseeanyone,”saidCarrie.“Ijustwalked,andwalked,andwaitedaround.”

Hurstwoodonlylookedather.

“Isupposeyouhavetohavesomefriendsbeforeyoucangetin,”sheadded,disconsolately.

Hurstwoodsawthedifficultyofthisthing,andyetitdidnotseemsoterrible.Carriewastiredanddispirited,butnowshecouldrest.Viewingtheworldfromhisrocking-chair,itsbitternessdidnotseemtoapproachsorapidly.To-morrowwasanotherday.

To-morrowcame,andthenext,andthenext.

CarriesawthemanagerattheCasinoonce.

“Comearound,”hesaid,“thefirstofnextweek.Imaymakesomechangesthen.”

Hewasalargeandcorpulentindividual,surfeitedwithgoodclothesandgoodeating,whojudgedwomenasanotherwouldhorseflesh.Carriewasprettyandgraceful.Shemightbeputinevenifshedidnothaveanyexperience.Oneoftheproprietorshadsuggestedthatthechoruswasalittleweakonlooks.

Thefirstofnextweekwassomedaysoffyet.Thefirstofthemonthwasdrawingnear.Carriebegantoworryasshehadneverworriedbefore.

“Doyoureallylookforanythingwhenyougoout.”sheaskedHurstwoodonemorningasaclimaxtosomepainfulthoughtsofherown.

“OfcourseIdo,”hesaidpettishly,troublingonlyalittleoverthedisgraceoftheinsinuation.

“I’dtakeanything,”shesaid,“forthepresent.Itwillsoonbethefirstofthemonthagain.”

Shelookedthepictureofdespair.

Hurstwoodquitreadinghispaperandchangedhisclothes.

“Hewouldlookforsomething,”hethought.“Hewouldgoandseeifsomebrewerycouldn’tgethiminsomewhere.Yes,hewouldtakeapositionasbartender,ifhecouldgetit.”

Itwasthesamesortofpilgrimagehehadmadebefore.Oneortwoslightrebuffs,andthebravadodisappeared.

“Nouse,”hethought.“Imightaswellgoonbackhome.”

Nowthathismoneywassolow,hebegantoobservehisclothesandfeelthatevenhisbestoneswerebeginningtolookcommonplace.Thiswasabitterthought.

Carriecameinafterhedid.

“Iwenttoseesomeofthevarietymanagers,”shesaid,aimlessly.“Youhavetohaveanact.Theydon’twantanybodythathasn’t.”

“Isawsomeofthebrewerypeopleto-day,”saidHurstwood.“Onemantoldmehe’dtrytomakea

placeformeintwoorthreeweeks.”

InthefaceofsomuchdistressonCarrie’spart,hehadtomakesomeshowing,anditwasthushedidso.Itwaslassitude’sapologytoenergy.

MondayCarriewentagaintotheCasino.

“DidItellyoutocomearoundtoday.”saidthemanager,lookingheroverasshestoodbeforehim.

“Yousaidthefirstoftheweek,”saidCarrie,greatlyabashed.

“Everhadanyexperience.”heaskedagain,almostseverely.

Carrieownedtoignorance.

Helookedheroveragainashestirredamongsomepapers.Hewassecretlypleasedwiththispretty,disturbed-lookingyoungwoman.“Comearoundtothetheatreto-morrowmorning.”

Carrie’sheartboundedtoherthroat.

“Iwill,”shesaidwithdifficulty.Shecouldseehewantedher,andturnedtogo.

“Wouldhereallyputhertowork.Oh,blessedfortune,coulditbe.”

Alreadythehardrumbleofthecitythroughtheopenwindowsbecamepleasant.

Asharpvoiceansweredhermentalinterrogation,drivingawayallimmediatefearsonthatscore.

“Besureyou’retherepromptly,”themanagersaidroughly.“You’llbedroppedifyou’renot.”

Carriehastenedaway.ShedidnotquarrelnowwithHurstwood’sidleness.Shehadaplace—shehadaplace!Thissanginherears.

InherdelightshewasalmostanxioustotellHurstwood.But,asshewalkedhomeward,andhersurveyofthefactsofthecasebecamelarger,shebegantothinkoftheanomalyofherfindingworkinseveralweeksandhislounginginidlenessforanumberofmonths.

“Whydon’thegetsomething.”sheopenlysaidtoherself.“IfIcanhesurelyoughtto.Itwasn’tvery

hardforme.”

Sheforgotheryouthandherbeauty.Thehandicapofageshedidnot,inherenthusiasm,perceive.

Thus,ever,thevoiceofsuccess.Still,shecouldnotkeephersecret.Shetriedtobecalmandindifferent,butitwasapalpablesham.

“Well.”hesaid,seeingherrelievedface.

“Ihaveaplace.”

“Youhave.”hesaid,breathingabetterbreath.

“Yes.”

“Whatsortofaplaceisit.”heasked,feelinginhisveinsasifnowhemightgetsomethinggoodalso.

“Inthechorus,”sheanswered.

“IsittheCasinoshowyoutoldmeabout.”

“Yes,”sheanswered.“Ibeginrehearsingto-morrow.”

TherewasmoreexplanationvolunteeredbyCarrie,becauseshewashappy.AtlastHurstwoodsaid:

“Doyouknowhowmuchyou’llget.”

“No,Ididn’twanttoask,”saidCarrie.“Iguesstheypaytwelveorfourteendollarsaweek.”

“Aboutthat,Iguess,”saidHurstwood.

Therewasagooddinnerintheflatthatevening,owingtothemereliftingoftheterriblestrain.Hurstwoodwentoutforashave,andreturnedwithafair-sizedsirloinsteak.

“Now,to-morrow,”hethought,“I’lllookaroundmyself,”andwithrenewedhopeheliftedhiseyesfromtheground.

OnthemorrowCarriereportedpromptlyandwasgivenaplaceintheline.Shesawalarge,empty,shadowyplay-house,stillredolentoftheperfumesandblazonryofthenight,andnotableforitsrich,orientalappearance.Thewonderofitawedanddelightedher.Blessedbeitswondrousreality.Howhardshewouldtrytobeworthyofit.Itwasabovethecommonmass,aboveidleness,abovewant,aboveinsignificance.Peoplecametoitinfineryandcarriagestosee.Itwaseveracenteroflightandmirth.Andhereshewasofit.Oh,ifshecouldonlyremain,howhappywouldbeherdays!

“Whatisyourname.”saidthemanager,whowasconductingthedrill.

“Madenda,”shereplied,instantlymindfulofthenameDrouethadselectedinChicago.“CarrieMadenda.”

“Well,now,MissMadenda,”hesaid,veryaffably,asCarriethought,“yougooverthere.”

Thenhecalledtoayoungwomanwhowasalreadyofthecompany:

“MissClark,youpairwithMissMadenda.”

Thisyoungladysteppedforward,sothatCarriesawwheretogo,andtherehearsalbegan.

CarriesoonfoundthatwhilethisdrillinghadsomeslightresemblancetotherehearsalsasconductedatAveryHall,theattitudeofthemanagerwasmuchmorepronounced.ShehadmarveledattheinsistenceandsuperiorairsofMr.Millice,buttheindividualconductingherehadthesameinsistence,coupledwithalmostbrutalroughness.Asthedrillingproceeded,heseemedtowaxexceedinglywrothovertrifles,andtoincreasehislungpowerinproportion.Itwasveryevidentthathehadagreatcontemptforanyassumptionofdignityorinnocenceonthepartoftheseyoungwomen.

“Clark,”hewouldcall—meaning,ofcourse,MissClark—”whydon’tyoucatchstepthere.”

“Byfours,right!Right,Isaid,right!Forheaven’ssake,getontoyourself!Right!”andinsayingthishewouldliftthelastsoundsintoavehementroar.“Maitland!Maitland!”hecalledonce.

Anervous,comely-dressedlittlegirlsteppedout.Carrietrembledforheroutofthefullnessofherownsympathiesandfear.

“Yes,sir,”saidMissMaitland.

“Isthereanythingthematterwithyourears.”

“No,sir.”

“Doyouknowwhat‘columnleft’means.”

“Yes,sir.”

“Well,whatareyoustumblingaroundtherightfor.Wanttobreakuptheline.”

“Iwasjust”

“Nevermindwhatyouwerejust.Keepyourearsopen.”

Carriepitied,andtrembledforherturn.

Yetanothersufferedthepainofpersonalrebuke.

“Holdonaminute,”criedthemanager,throwinguphishands,asifindespair.Hisdemeanorwasfierce.

“Elvers,”heshouted,“whathaveyougotinyourmouth.”

“Nothing,”saidMissElvers,whilesomesmiledandstoodnervouslyby.

“Well,areyoutalking.”

“No,sir.”

“Well,keepyourmouthstillthen.Now,alltogetheragain.”

AtlastCarrie’sturncame.Itwasbecauseofherextremeanxietytodoallthatwasrequiredthatbroughtonthetrouble.

Sheheardsomeonecalled.

“Mason,”saidthevoice.“MissMason.”

Shelookedaroundtoseewhoitcouldbe.Agirlbehindshovedheralittle,butshedidnotunderstand.

“You,you!”saidthemanager.“Can’tyouhear.”

“Oh,”saidCarrie,collapsing,andblushingfiercely.

“Isn’tyournameMason.”askedthemanager.

“No,sir,”saidCarrie,“it’sMadenda.”

“Well,what’sthematterwithyourfeet.Can’tyoudance.”

“Yes,sir,”saidCarrie,whohadlongsincelearnedthisart.

“Whydon’tyoudoitthen.Don’tgoshufflingalongasifyouweredead.I’vegottohavepeoplewithlifeinthem.”

Carrie’scheekburnedwithacrimsonheat.Herlipstrembledalittle.

“Yes,sir,”shesaid.

Itwasthisconstanturging,coupledwithirascibilityandenergy,forthreelonghours.Carriecameawaywornenoughinbody,buttooexcitedinmindtonoticeit.Shemeanttogohomeandpracticeherevolutionsasprescribed.Shewouldnoterrinanyway,ifshecouldhelpit.

WhenshereachedtheflatHurstwoodwasnotthere.Forawonderhewasoutlookingforwork,asshesupposed.Shetookonlyamouthfultoeatandthenpracticedon,sustainedbyvisionsoffreedomfromfinancialdistress—”Thesoundofgloryringinginherears.”

WhenHurstwoodreturnedhewasnotsoelatedaswhenhewentaway,andnowshewasobligedtodroppracticeandgetdinner.Herewasanearlyirritation.Shewouldhaveherworkandthis.Wasshegoingtoactandkeephouse.

“I’llnotdoit,”shesaid,“afterIgetstarted.Hecantakehismealsout.”

Eachdaythereafterbroughtitscares.Shefounditwasnotsuchawonderfulthingtobeinthechorus,andshealsolearnedthathersalarywouldbetwelvedollarsaweek.Afterafewdaysshehadherfirstsightofthosehighandmighties—theleadingladiesandgentlemen.Shesawthattheywereprivilegedanddeferredto.Shewasnothing—absolutelynothingatall.

AthomewasHurstwood,dailygivinghercauseforthought.Heseemedtogetnothingtodo,andyethemadeboldtoinquirehowshewasgettingalong.Theregularitywithwhichhedidthissmackedofsomeonewhowaswaitingtoliveuponherlabor.Nowthatshehadavisiblemeansofsupport,thisirritatedher.Heseemedtobedependinguponherlittletwelvedollars.

“Howareyougettingalong.”hewouldblandly

inquire.

“Oh,allright,”shewouldreply.

“Finditeasy.”

“ItwillbeallrightwhenIgetusedtoit.”

Hispaperwouldthenengrosshisthoughts.

“Igotsomelard,”hewouldadd,asanafterthought.“Ithoughtmaybeyoumightwanttomakesomebiscuit.”

Thecalmsuggestionofthemanastonishedheralittle,especiallyinthelightofrecentdevelopments.Herdawningindependencegavehermorecouragetoobserve,andshefeltasifshewantedtosaythings.StillshecouldnottalktohimasshehadtoDrouet.Therewassomethingintheman’smannerofwhichshehadalwaysstoodinawe.Heseemedtohavesomeinvisiblestrengthinreserve.

Oneday,afterherfirstweek’srehearsal,whatsheexpectedcameopenlytothesurface.

“We’llhavetoberathersaving,”hesaid,layingdownsomemeathehadpurchased.“Youwon’tgetanymoneyforaweekorsoyet.”

“No,”saidCarrie,whowasstirringapanatthestove.

“I’veonlygottherentandthirteendollarsmore,”headded.

“That’sit,”shesaidtoherself.“I’mtousemymoneynow.”

Instantlysherememberedthatshehadhopedtobuyafewthingsforherself.Sheneededclothes.Herhatwasnotnice.

“Whatwilltwelvedollarsdotowardskeepingupthisflat.”shethought.“Ican’tdoit.Whydoesn’thegetsomethingtodo.”

Theimportantnightofthefirstrealperformancecame.ShedidnotsuggesttoHurstwoodthathecomeandsee.Hedidnotthinkofgoing.Itwouldonlybemoneywasted.Shehadsuchasmallpart.

Theadvertisementswerealreadyinthepapers;thepostersuponthebill-boards.Theleadingladyandmanymemberswerecited.Carriewasnothing.

AsinChicago,shewasseizedwithstagefrightastheveryfirstentranceoftheballetapproached,butlatersherecovered.Theapparentandpainfulinsignificanceoftheparttookfearawayfromher.Shefeltthatshewassoobscureitdidnotmatter.Fortunately,shedidnothavetoweartights.Agroupoftwelvewereassignedprettygolden-huedskirtswhichcameonlytoalineaboutaninchabovetheknee.Carriehappenedtobeoneofthetwelve.

Instandingaboutthestage,marching,andoccasionallyliftinguphervoiceinthegeneralchorus,shehadachancetoobservetheaudienceandtoseetheinaugurationofagreathit.Therewasplentyofapplause,butshecouldnothelpnotinghowpoorlysomeofthewomenofallegedabilitydid.

“Icoulddobetterthanthat,”Carrieventuredtoherself,inseveralinstances.Todoherjustice,shewasright.Afteritwasovershedressedquickly,andasthemanagerhadscoldedsomeothersandpassedher,sheimaginedshemusthaveprovedsatisfactory.Shewantedtogetoutquickly,becausesheknewbutfew,andthestarsweregossiping.Outsidewerecarriagesandsomecorrectyouthsinattractiveclothing,waiting.Carriesawthatshewasscannedclosely.Theflutterofaneyelashwouldhavebroughtheracompanion.Thatshedidnotgive.

Oneexperiencedyouthvolunteered,anyhow.

“Notgoinghomealone,areyou.”hesaid.

CarriemerelyhastenedherstepsandtooktheSixthAvenuecar.Herheadwassofullofthewonderofitthatshehadtimefornothingelse.

“Didyouhearanymorefromthebrewery.”sheaskedattheendoftheweek,hopingbythequestiontostirhimontoaction.

“No,”heanswered,“they’renotquitereadyyet.Ithinksomethingwillcomeofthat,though.”

Shesaidnothingmorethen,objectingtogivingupherownmoney,andyetfeelingthatsuchwouldhavetobethecase.Hurstwoodfeltthecrisis,andartfullydecidedtoappealtoCarrie.Hehadlongsincerealizedhowgood-naturedshewas,howmuchshewouldstand.Therewassomelittleshameinhimatthethoughtofdoingso,buthejustifiedhimselfwiththethoughtthathereallywouldgetsomething.Rentdaygavehimhisopportunity.

“Well,”hesaid,ashecounteditout,“that’saboutthelastofmymoney.I’llhavetogetsomethingprettysoon.”

Carrielookedathimaskance,half-suspiciousofanappeal.

“IfIcouldonlyholdoutalittlelongerIthinkIcouldgetsomething.DrakeissuretoopenahotelhereinSeptember.”

“Ishe.”saidCarrie,thinkingoftheshortmonththatstillremaineduntilthattime.

“Wouldyoumindhelpingmeoutuntilthen.”hesaidappealingly.“IthinkI’llbeallrightafterthattime.”

“No,”saidCarrie,feelingsadlyhandicappedbyfate.

“Wecangetalongifweeconomies.I’llpayyoubackallright.”

“Oh,I’llhelpyou,”saidCarrie,feelingquitehardheartedatthusforcinghimtohumblyappeal,andyetherdesireforthebenefitofherearningswrungafaintprotestfromher.

“Whydon’tyoutakeanything,George,temporarily.”shesaid.“Whatdifferencedoesitmake.Maybe,afterawhile,you’llgetsomethingbetter.”

“Iwilltakeanything,”hesaid,relieved,andwincingunderreproof.“I’djustasleavedigonthestreets.Nobodyknowsmehere.”

“Oh,youneedn’tdothat,”saidCarrie,hurtbythepityofit.“Buttheremustbeotherthings.”

“I’llgetsomething!”hesaid,assumingdetermination.

Thenhewentbacktohispaper.