CHAPTER 30

Sonoweverythinghadbeendonethattherewastodothatnight.Allordershadbeengiven.Everyoneknewexactlywhathewastodointhemorning.Andréhadbeengonethreehours.Eitheritwouldcomenowwiththecomingofthedaylightoritwouldnotcome.Ibelievethatitwillcome,RobertJordantoldhimself,walkingbackdownfromtheupperpostwherehehadgonetospeaktoPrimitivo.

Golzmakestheattackbuthehasnotthepowertocancelit.PermissiontocancelitwillhavetocomefromMadrid.Thechancesaretheywon’tbeabletowakeanybodyupthereandiftheydowakeuptheywillbetoosleepytothink.IshouldhavegottenwordtoGolzsoonerofthepreparationstheyhavemadetomeettheattack,buthowcouldIsendwordaboutsomethinguntilithappened?Theydidnotmoveupthatstuffuntiljustatdark.Theydidnotwanttohaveanymovementontheroadspottedbyplanes.Butwhataboutalltheirplanes?Whataboutthosefascistplanes?

Surelyourpeoplemusthavebeenwarnedbythem.ButperhapsthefascistswerefakingforanotheroffensivedownthroughGuadalajarawiththem.ThereweresupposedtobeItaliantroopsconcentratedinSoria,andatSiguenzaagainbesidesthoseoperatingintheNorth.Theyhaven’tenoughtroopsormaterialtoruntwomajoroffensivesatthesametimethough.Thatisimpossible;soitmustbejustabluff.

ButweknowhowmanytroopstheItalianshavelandedalllastmonthandthemonthbeforeatCadiz.ItisalwayspossibletheywilltryagainatGuadalajara,notstupidlyasbefore,butwiththreemainfingerscomingdowntobroadenitoutandcarryitalongtherailwaytothewestoftheplateau.Therewasawaythattheycoulddoitallright.Hanshadshownhim.Theymademanymistakesthefirsttime.Thewholeconceptionwasunsound.TheyhadnotusedanyofthesametroopsintheArgandaoffensiveagainsttheMadrid-ValenciaroadthattheyusedatGuadalajara.Whyhadtheynotmadethosesamedrivessimultaneously?Why?Why?Whenwouldweknowwhy?

Yetwehadstoppedthembothtimeswiththeverysametroops.Wenevercouldhavestoppedthemiftheyhadpulledbothdrivesatonce.Don’tworry,hetoldhimself.Lookatthemiraclesthathavehappenedbeforethis.Eitheryouwillhavetoblowthatbridgeinthemorningoryouwillnothaveto.Butdonotstartdeceivingyourselfintothinkingyouwon’thavetoblowit.Youwillblowitonedayoryouwillblowitanother.Orifitisnotthisbridgeitwillbesomeotherbridge.Itisnotyouwhodecideswhatshallbedone.Youfolloworders.Followthemanddonottrytothinkbeyondthem.

Theordersonthisareveryclear.Tooveryclear.Butyoumustnotworrynormustyoubefrightened.Forifyouallowyourselftheluxuryofnormalfearthatfearwillinfectthosewhomustworkwithyou.

Butthatheadsbusinesswasquiteathingallthesame,hetoldhimself.Andtheoldmanrunningontothemonthehilltopalone.Howwouldyouhavelikedtorunontothemlikethat?Thatimpressedyou,didn’tit?Yes,thatimpressedyou,Jordan.Youhavebeenquiteimpressedmorethanoncetoday.ButyouhavebehavedO.K.Sofaryouhavebehavedallright.

YoudoverywellforaninstructorinSpanishattheUniversityofMontana,hejokedathimself.Youdoallrightforthat.Butdonotstarttothinkingthatyouareanythingveryspecial.Youhaven’tgottenveryfarinthisbusiness.JustrememberDurán,whoneverhadanymilitarytrainingandwhowasacomposerandladabouttownbeforethemovementandisnowadamnedgoodgeneralcommandingabrigade.ItwasallassimpleandeasytolearnandunderstandtoDuránaschesstoachildchessprodigy.YouhadreadonandstudiedtheartofwareversinceyouwereaboyandyourgrandfatherhadstartedyouontheAmericanCivilWar.ExceptthatGrandfatheralwayscalledittheWaroftheRebellion.ButcomparedwithDurányouwerelikeagoodsoundchessplayeragainstaboyprodigy.OldDurán.ItwouldbegoodtoseeDuránagain.HewouldseehimatGaylord’safterthiswasover.Yes.Afterthiswasover.Seehowwellhewasbehaving?

I’llseehimatGaylord’s,hesaidtohimselfagain,afterthisisover.Don’tkidyourself,hesaid.YoudoitallperfectlyO.K.Cold.Withoutkiddingyourself.Youaren’tgoingtoseeDuránanymoreanditisofnoimportance.Don’tbethatwayeither,hetoldhimself.Don’tgoinforanyofthoseluxuries.

Norforheroicresignationeither.Wedonotwantanycitizensfullofheroicresignationinthesehills.YourgrandfatherfoughtfouryearsinourCivilWarandyouarejustfinishingyourfirstyearinthiswar.Youhavealongtimetogoyetandyouareverywellfittedforthework.AndnowyouhaveMaria,too.Why,you’vegoteverything.Youshouldn’tworry.Whatisalittlebrushbetweenaguerillabandandasquadronofcavalry?Thatisn’tanything.Whatiftheytooktheheads?Doesthatmakeanydifference?Noneatall.

TheIndiansalwaystookthescalpswhenGrandfatherwasatFortKearnyafterthewar.Doyourememberthecabinetinyourfather’sofficewiththearrowheadsspreadoutonashelf,andtheeaglefeathersofthewarbonnetsthathungonthewall,theirplumesslanting,thesmokedbuckskinsmelloftheleggingsandtheshirtsandthefeelofthebeadedmoccasins?Doyourememberthegreatstaveofthebuffalobowthatleanedinacornerofthecabinetandthetwoquiversofhuntingandwararrows,andhowthebundleofshaftsfeltwhenyouclosedyourhandaroundthem?

Remembersomethinglikethat.Remembersomethingconcreteandpractical.RememberGrandfather’ssaber,brightandwelloiledinitsdentedscabbardandGrandfathershowedyouhowthebladehadbeenthinnedfromthemanytimesithadbeentothegrinder’s.RememberGrandfather’sSmithandWesson.Itwasasingleaction,officer’smodel.32caliberandtherewasnotriggerguard.Ithadthesoftest,sweetesttriggerpullyouhadeverfeltanditwasalwayswelloiledandtheborewascleanalthoughthefinishwasallwornoffandthebrownmetalofthebarrelandthecylinderwaswornsmoothfromtheleatheroftheholster.ItwaskeptintheholsterwithaU.S.ontheflapinadrawerinthecabinetwithitscleaningequipmentandtwohundredroundsofcartridges.Theircardboardboxeswerewrappedandtiedneatlywithwaxedtwine.

Youcouldtakethepistoloutofthedrawerandholdit.“Handleitfreely,”wasGrandfather’sexpression.Butyoucouldnotplaywithitbecauseitwas“aseriousweapon.”

YouaskedGrandfatheronceifhehadeverkilledanyonewithitandhesaid,“Yes.”

Thenyousaid,“When,Grandfather?”andhesaid,“IntheWaroftheRebellionandafterwards.”

Yousaid,“Willyoutellmeaboutit,Grandfather?”

Andhesaid,“Idonotcaretospeakaboutit,Robert.”

Thenafteryourfatherhadshothimselfwiththispistol,andyouhadcomehomefromschoolandthey’dhadthefuneral,thecoronerhadreturneditaftertheinquestsaying,“Bob,Iguessyoumightwanttokeepthegun.I’msupposedtoholdit,butIknowyourdadsetalotofstorebyitbecausehisdadpackeditallthroughtheWar,besidesoutherewhenhefirstcameoutwiththeCavalry,andit’sstillahellofagoodgun.Ihadherouttryingherthisafternoon.Shedon’tthrowmuchofaslugbutyoucanhitthingswithher.”

Hehadputthegunbackinthedrawerinthecabinetwhereitbelonged,butthenextdayhetookitoutandhehadriddenuptothetopofthehighcountryaboveRedLodge,withChub,wheretheyhadbuilttheroadtoCookeCitynowoverthepassandacrosstheBearToothplateau,anduptherewherethewindwasthinandtherewassnowallsummeronthehillstheyhadstoppedbythelakewhichwassupposedtobeeighthundredfeetdeepandwasadeepgreencolor,andChubheldthetwohorsesandheclimbedoutonarockandleanedoverandsawhisfaceinthestillwater,andsawhimselfholdingthegun,andthenhedroppedit,holdingitbythemuzzle,andsawitgodownmakingbubblesuntilitwasjustasbigasawatchcharminthatclearwater,andthenitwasoutofsight.ThenhecamebackofftherockandwhenheswungupintothesaddlehegaveoldBesssuchacloutwiththespursshestartedtobucklikeanoldrockinghorse.HebuckedheroutalongtheshoreQfthelakeandassoonasshewasreasonabletheywentonbackalongthetrail.

“Iknowwhyyoudidthatwiththeoldgun,Bob,”Chubsaid.

“Well,thenwedon’thavetotalkaboutit,”hehadsaid.

TheynevertalkedaboutitandthatwastheendofGrandfather’ssidearmsexceptforthesaber.HestillhadthesaberinhistrunkwiththerestofhisthingsatMissoula.

IwonderwhatGrandfatherwouldthinkofthissituation,hethought.Grandfatherwasahellofagoodsoldier,everybodysaid.TheysaidifhehadbeenwithCusterthatdayheneverwouldhavelethimbesuckedinthatway.HowcouldheevernothaveseenthesmokenorthedustofallthoselodgesdownthereinthedrawalongtheLittleBigHornunlesstheremusthavebeenaheavymorningmist?Buttherewasn’tanymist.

IwishGrandfatherwerehereinsteadofme.Well,maybewewillallbetogetherbytomorrownight.Ifthereshouldbeanysuchdamnfoolbusinessasahereafter,andI’msurethereisn’t,hethought,Iwouldcertainlyliketotalktohim.BecausetherearealotofthingsIwouldliketoknow.IhavearighttoaskhimnowbecauseIhavehadtodothesamesortofthingsmyself.Idon’tthinkhe’dmindmyaskingnow.Ihadnorighttoaskbefore.Iunderstandhimnottellingmebecausehedidn’tknowme.ButnowIthinkthatwewouldgetalongallright.I’dliketobeabletotalktohimnowandgethisadvice.Hell,ifIdidn’tgetadviceI’djustliketotalktohim.It’sashamethereissuchajumpintimebetweenoneslikeus.

Then,ashethought,herealizedthatiftherewasanysuchthingasevermeeting,bothheandhisgrandfatherwouldbeacutelyembarrassedbythepresenceofhisfather.Anyonehasarighttodoit,hethought.Butitisn’tagoodthingtodo.Iunderstandit,butIdonotapproveofit.Lachewastheword.Butyoudounderstandit?Sure,Iunderstanditbut.Yes,but.Youhavetobeawfullyoccupiedwithyourselftodoathinglikethat.

Awhell,IwishGrandfatherwashere,hethought.Foraboutanhouranyway.MaybehesentmewhatlittleIhavethroughthatotheronethatmisusedthegun.Maybethatistheonlycommunicationthatwehave.But,damnit.Trulydamnit,butIwishthetime-lagwasn’tsolongsothatIcouldhavelearnedfromhimwhattheotheroneneverhadtoteachme.ButsupposethefearhehadtogothroughanddominateandjustgetridoffinallyinfouryearsofthatandthenintheIndianfighting,althoughinthat,mostly,therecouldn’thavebeensomuchfear,hadmadeacobardeoutoftheotheronethewaysecondgenerationbullfightersalmostalwaysare?Supposethat?Andmaybethegoodjuiceonlycamethroughstraightagainafterpassingthroughthatone?

I’llneverforgethowsickitmademethefirsttimeIknewhewasacobarde.Goon,sayitinEnglish.Coward.It’seasierwhenyouhaveitsaidandthereisneveranypointinreferringtoasonofabitchbysomeforeignterm.Hewasn’tanysonofabitch,though.Hewasjustacowardandthatwastheworstluckanymancouldhave.Becauseifhewasn’tacowardhewouldhavestooduptothatwomanandnotletherbullyhim.IwonderwhatIwouldhavebeenlikeifhehadmarriedadifferentwoman?That’ssomethingyou’llneverknow,hethought,andgrinned.Maybethebullyinherhelpedtosupplywhatwasmissingintheother.Andyou.Takeitalittleeasy.Don’tgettoreferringtothegoodjuiceandsuchotherthingsuntilyouarethroughtomorrow.Don’tbesnottytoosoon.Andthendon’tbesnottyatall.We’llseewhatsortofjuiceyouhavetomorrow.

ButhestartedthinkingaboutGrandfatheragain.

“GeorgeCusterwasnotanintelligentleaderofcavalry,Robert,”hisgrandfatherhadsaid.“Hewasnotevenanintelligentman.”

Herememberedthatwhenhisgrandfathersaidthathefeltresentmentthatanyoneshouldspeakagainstthatfigureinthebuckskinshirt,theyellowcurlsblowing,thatstoodonthathillholdingaservicerevolverastheSiouxclosedinaroundhimintheoldAnheuser-BuschlithographthathungonthepoolroomwallinRedLodge.

“Hejusthadgreatabilitytogethimselfinandoutoftrouble,”hisgrandfatherwenton,“andontheLittleBigHornhegotintoitbuthecouldn’tgetout.

“NowPhilSheridanwasanintelligentmanandsowasJebStuart.ButJohnMosbywasthefinestcavalryleaderthateverlived.”

HehadaletterinhisthingsinthetrunkatMissoulafromGeneralPhilSheridantooldKilly-the-HorseKilpatrickthatsaidhisgrandfatherwasafinerleaderofirregularcavalrythanJohnMosby.

IoughttotellGolzaboutmygrandfather,hethought.Hewouldn’teverhaveheardofhimthough.HeprobablyneverevenheardofJohnMosby.TheBritishallhadheardofthemthoughbecausetheyhadtostudyourCivilWarmuchmorethanpeopledidontheContinent.KarkovsaidafterthiswasoverIcouldgototheLeninInstituteinMoscowifIwantedto.HesaidIcouldgotothemilitaryacademyoftheRedArmyifIwantedtodothat.IwonderwhatGrandfatherwouldthinkofthat?Grandfather,whoneverknowinglysatattablewithaDemocratinhislife.

Well,Idon’twanttobeasoldier,hethought.Iknowthat.Sothat’sout.Ijustwantustowinthiswar.Iguessreallygoodsoldiersarereallygoodatverylittleelse,hethought.That’sobviouslyuntrue.LookatNapoleonandWellington.You’reverystupidthisevening,hethought.

Usuallyhismindwasverygoodcompanyandtonightithadbeenwhenhethoughtabouthisgrandfather.Thenthinkingofhisfatherhadthrownhimoff.Heunderstoodhisfatherandheforgavehimeverythingandhepitiedhimbuthewasashamedofhim.

Youbetternotthinkatall,hetoldhimself.SoonyouwillbewithMariaandyouwon’thavetothink.That’sthebestwaynowthateverythingisworkedout.Whenyouhavebeenconcentratingsohardonsomethingyoucan’tstopandyourbraingetstoracinglikeaflywheelwiththeweightgone.Youbetterjustnotthink.

Butjustsuppose,hethought.Justsupposethatwhentheplanesunloadtheysmashthoseanti-tankgunsandjustblowhelloutofthepositionsandtheoldtanksrollgoodupwhateverhillitisforonceandoldGolzbootsthatbunchofdrunks,clochards,bums,fanaticsandheroesthatmakeuptheQuatorzièmeBrigadeaheadofhim,andIknowhowgoodDurán’speopleareinGolz’sotherbrigade,andweareinSegoviatomorrownight.

Yes.Justsuppose,hesaidtohimself.I’llsettleforLaGranja,hetoldhimself.Butyouaregoingtohavetoblowthatbridge,hesuddenlyknewabsolutely.Therewon’tbeanycallingoff.Becausethewayyouhavejustbeensupposingthereforaminuteishowthepossibilitiesofthatattacklooktothosewhohaveorderedit.Yes,youwillhavetoblowthebridge,heknewtruly.WhateverhappenstoAndrésdoesn’tmatter.

Comingdownthetrailthereinthedark,alonewiththegoodfeelingthateverythingthathadtobedonewasoverforthenextfourhours,andwiththeconfidencethathadcomefromthinkingbacktoconcretethings,theknowledgethathewouldsurelyhavetoblowthebridgecametohimalmostwithcomfort.

Theuncertainty,theenlargementofthefeelingofbeinguncertain,aswhen,throughamisunderstandingofpossibledates,onedoesnotknowwhethertheguestsarereallycomingtoaparty,thathadbeenwithhimeversincehehaddispatchedAndréswiththereporttoGolz,hadalldroppedfromhimnow.Hewassurenowthatthefestivalwouldnotbecancelled.It’smuchbettertobesure,hethought.It’salwaysmuchbettertobesure.