226.英文正文(226)
“itwillnotlastforever,”hesaid。***“youcanescapefromitwheneveryouchoose。everythingdependsonyourself。”
“youdidit!”sobbedwinston。“youreducedmetothisstate。”
“no,winston,youreducedyourselftoit。thisiswhatyouacceptedwhenyousetyourselfupagainsttheparty。itwasallcontainedinthatfirstact。nothinghashappenedthatyoudidnotforesee。”
hepaused,andthenwenton:
“wehavebeatenyou,winston。wehavebrokenyouup。youhaveseenwhatyourbodyislike。yourmindisinthesamestate。idonotthinktherecanbemuchprideleftinyou。youhavebeenkickedandfloggedandinsulted,youhavescreamedwithpain,youhaverolledonthefloorinyourownbloodandvomit。youhavewhimperedformercy,youhavebetrayedeverybodyandeverything。canyouthinkofasingledegradationthathasnothappenedtoyou?”
winstonhadstoppedweeping,thoughthetearswerestilloozingoutofhiseyes。helookedupato’brien。
“ihavenotbetrayedjulia,”hesaid。
o’brienlookeddownathimthoughtfully。“no,”hesaid,“no,thatisperfectlytrue。youhavenotbetrayedjulia。”
thepeculiarreverenceforo’brien,whichnothingseemedabletodestroy,floodedwinston’sheartagain。howintelligent,hethought,howintelligent!neverdido’brienfailtounderstandwhatwassaidtohim。anyoneelseonearthwouldhaveansweredpromptlythathehadbetrayedjulia。forwhatwastherethattheyhadnotscrewedoutofhimunderthetorture?hehadtoldthemeverythingheknewabouther,herhabits,hercharacter,herpastlife;hehadconfessedinthemosttrivialdetaileverythingthathadhappenedattheirmeetings,allthathehadsaidtoherandshetohim,theirblack-marketmeals,theiradulteries,theirvagueplottingsagainsttheparty—everything。andyet,inthesenseinwhichheintendedtheword,hehadnotbetrayedher。hehadnotstoppedlovingher;hisfeelingstowardsherhadremainedthesame。o’brienhadseenwhathemeantwithouttheneedforexplanation。