249.英文正文(249)
underthetablewinston’sfeetmadeconvulsivemovements。hehadnotstirredfromhisseat,butinhismindhewasrunning,swiftlyrunning,hewaswiththecrowdsoutside,cheeringhimselfdeaf。helookedupagainattheportraitofbigbrother。thecolossusthatbestrodetheworld!therockagainstwhichthehordesofasiadashedthemselvesinvain!hethoughthowtenminutesago—yes,onlytenminutes—therehadstillbeenequivocationinhisheartashewonderedwhetherthenewsfromthefrontwouldbeofvictoryordefeat。ah,itwasmorethanaeurasianarmythathadperished!muchhadchangedinhimsincethatfirstdayintheministryoflove,butthefinal,indispensable,healingchangehadneverhappened,untilthismoment。
thevoicefromthetelescreenwasstillpouringforthitstaleofprisonersandbootyandslaughter,buttheshoutingoutsidehaddieddownalittle。thewaiterswereturningbacktotheirwork。oneofthemapproachedwiththeginbottle。winston,sittinginablissfuldream,paidnoattentionashisglasswasfilledup。hewasnotrunningorcheeringanylonger。hewasbackintheministryoflove,witheverythingforgiven,hissoulwhiteassnow。hewasinthepublicdock,confessingeverything,implicatingeverybody。hewaswalkingdownthewhite-tiledcorridor,withthefeelingofwalkinginsunlight,andanarmedguardathisback。thelonghoped-forbulletwasenteringhisbrain。
hegazedupattheenormousface。fortyyearsithadtakenhimtolearnwhatkindofsmilewashiddenbeneaththedarkmoustache。ocruel,needlessmisunderstanding!ostubborn,self-willedexilefromthelovingbreast!twogin-scentedtearstrickleddownthesidesofhisnose。butitwasallright,everythingwasallright,thestrugglewasfinished。hehadwonthevictoryoverhimself。helovedbigbrother。